Thoughts and memories

Whilst clearing my room for the new year, I took some time to read through my past journals and thought books. And I don't think I fully understand myself. Sometimes I feel like I'm reading from a more matured version of me in 2010, and sometimes I feel not. I read crazy things and i read sad things. I feel everything. Like they are all my sisters. 

Also, I found some illustrations and doodles that I did for fun that are long forgotten. Feels nice looking through them. Here are some: 

I love writing and documenting stuff. It means a lot to me. I usually have a blank note book that I carry around with me to write or draw stuff whenever~ it won't mean much now but 5 or 10 years down, it becomes so freakin precious. 

Hey you, Start one this coming year ;)  

Truth

I do believe that you are capable of such things. Life is short, why do you want to do much harm. Live, and be happy. There is no exercise better than lifting the hearts of others. 

Happiness

Today, a thousand feet up in the air and all I can think of is you. How you were helpless, stripped of hope, and manage such a childhood. How you had no where to go in the middle of the night, how you must have felt, so lost and desolated. A tear runs down your cheek and you quickly brush it away before I can see it. I can hear your pain from your cracked voice and see the sorrow from your eyes. A thousand feet up in the air, I thought about fate. I thought about how it is possible that we don't know each other and suddenly you are in my life and I in yours, and strange that I feel like I've known you for a long time, like it belongs. 

I teared. 

I feel conflicted at times. To build up walls, or not. Stories from here stories from there. Some lies, some pride, some just plain unnecessary.  Some take harder paths, and some don't. And halfway we might lose each other, but look where we are. So put pride away, put ego aside because beneath it all, we are the same. Family, or friends, or foe? In situations where I am forced to put up walls, I would still choose to love. 

and I would choose love over and over again...

because life is really too short to be anything but happy. 

Laufersweiler with Love

well I don't really know where to start. Its been such an amazing week and I've learnt so much. I've heard so many stories, both heartbreaking ones and the ones that bring a smile to your face. Occasionally it hurt, but most importantly, I've learnt about love. 

Oma lives in germany with Opa in this place called Laufersweiler. They live in a very quaint and cozy house in the country side, so I thought since I'm in europe I should just pop by and visit them. And so coincidentally my somewhat extended family are coming over too, on the same day! Imagine! 

I've been so spoilt the whole time there. Oma makes the most amazing breakfast spread ever. Theres everything, and can I also add that she grows her own fruits and plants and makes AMAZING jam out of her crops. More pictures when you scroll down! 

Oma and Opa looking extremely cute even after 40 years. 

Here is Oma looking extremely pleased with her jam collection . She even labelled every jar. I need to live here forever. 

Early christmas dinner at Gugu's. So yummy, I ate too much and coma-ed.

Opa seriously loves birds. He spends most of his time taking beautiful photos of birds. Super cute. And every morning during breakfast, he would put a few of his favourite shots on a flash drive and let the pictures play in a slideshow on the TV. I think this a great idea instead of watching tv. We gather as a family and look through photos and memories and create conversation. I think this is great, until they started showing pictures of chicken rice and fish ball noodles, and then I got a bit home sick. :(

Taking battle ship very seriously. 

What a great week~~~  Happy girl is happy. I honestly didn't think I'd survive because of the first night. Ok ghost story time. When we first reached home, Opa said that he hopes that I don't mind their house because its a witch house. (He meant that its small/cozy/old) but I took it literally, that it belonged to witches. Scenes from the Conjuring and Annabelle started to replay in my head and I was seriously freaked out. But anyway, on the first night I went to bed after reading and suddenly jolted up awake in sweat. So i went to turn down the heater, but whilst doing so I realised that it was only 12am. But it felt like I slept for a really long time, so I double checked with my phone. And my phone says that its 315am. So at that point I was confused for a bit, and then right in front of my eyes I saw the clock hand move super fast to 315am. And I was like HOLY SHIT WHATS HAPPENING. WHY IS THE CLOCK HANDS MOVING SO FAST AND GOING CRAZY. There was this scene in the conjuring about clock stopping at a certain time and then moving around, I was seriously freaked out.

I quickly just went back to bed and hid under the covers and focused my thoughts on eggs. All kinds of eggs: poached eggs, 5min boiled vs 10 min boiled, raw egg, scrambled egg, sunny side ups... I was so scared! There might be some kind of logical explanation, but Opa really scared me with the witch house thing, plus their house is really old...like over a 100~ and theres a jewish cemtetry just next door. 

:(

:(

:( 

but the next day it got better, nothing happened.

thankfully.

and now I really miss that place and I miss everyone esp Oma and Opa. So much. 

All these roads lead back to home.

HIHI. 

I've been trying to keep up with typing here to keep track of my travel thoughts. But opening up my mac takes too much effort so I've been writing a lot in my travel journal, but so today I shall make an effort to blog. 

This post is dedicated to the steak in Prague. YUM YUM YUM. 

I ate steak almost everyday. Its morning! What do I want to eat? STEAK! Its lunch time! What do I want to eat? STEAK! Its dinner! What shall I eat? STEAK!! Prague is seriously my happy place. Everything is good, service is good everywhere mostly, people are friendly, amazing architecture. I would definitely want to come back here again, also to feed the swans. 

I shall leave you with some steak photos. 

My final piece for Prague. I love the castles and old buildings everywhere in this beautiful country, so now i have one piece to take home~ :D I seriously can't wait to hang everything up on my wall when I get back home.

Prague: city of dreams

The journey to Prague was such a crazy one, I don't know how I did it. 

The night before, I was at Amsterdam, and there was a storm very early in the morning. I was hoping that the storm would come to a halt or a drizzle before I have to head to the airport. It was so freakin cold and rainy. And when I woke up at 5am, it was still SUPER stormy. The hammock was going round and round in circles and the wind was howling. SO scary. But if you have a plane to catch, you just have to drag your ass out and brace the wind. 

I think because I expected it to be super bad, when I went through it...it didn't feel that bad at all. I was like...hmm, yeah, this is alright. And so we made our way back to berlin for lunch. The flight was so short, but I totally just knocked out after sitting down. I didn't even bother to remove my coat, i just slumped down on the chair and slept and woke up in Berlin. AND IT SNOWED IN BERLIN...well...kinda. It was so magical, I think I cried a little. I have never seen anything so beautiful before. I was so happy I tell you. I was SO happy. 

and then from Berlin, off we went on a train to Praha. 

I love capturing my travels as much as possible. I receive so much visual information when I'm somewhere new, and sometimes photos just don't do justice! So I observe and try to sketch as much as possible, and yyknow...even looking at a rough sketch of a building I can actually remember it visually clearer than a photograph. And its much more precious than a photograph don't you think? I feel this way even more so with embroidery, because when I sit there in the freezing cold embroidering and observing details and colour, I feel that I am imprinting all these visual information forever in my head and on fabric of course. Even when I look back at this embroidery piece, I remember the exact scene so perfectly, and its like I can take back a part of the country with me.

Its a nice feeling, really. When I'm back, of course I would miss the place, but I feel that I still have the place with me...so its not too bad. Like when I look at the Charles Bridge in Prague, I can say that I KNOW it, because well, I do! My eyes travelled through every single rock and brick and colour and moss. I know it, and its with me now, forever~

Check me.

Yknow I love airports? 

And I also like to get checked. I like to act super suspicious and get checked at the security point, yknow where they scan all your shit. But I NEVER GET CHECKED!!! so far this month I took about 8 flights, and every single time I never get checked. I put needles in my wallet, I put lighters in my bag I put coins in my pocket but I never get stopped. 

WHYYYYYYYY. 

And just now while I was clearing the security point at Prague airport, the beeper finally went off when I walked past. I was so happy like omgomg check me check me, but the lady just looked at me and said i can pass. 

WHYYYYYYYYYYYY. 

#sadgame 

Books / People

On the plane back to Berlin this morning, I had a fleeting thought before I dozed off: like a book, sometimes it has this ability to enchant you and you stay forever enchanted by the book. Even though after finishing it, you're still very much in love with the book. (Such as my love for V. C andrews) And some books, you like it at the start and then it gets boring and draggy and the plot gets predicatable, so you put it down. (The equivilent of Charles dickens, it might be a classic to some, but it's damn boring to me no offense) 

But then again, there are also some books that are super hard and dry to read in the beginning because there are just too many names and lengthy words, but once you push through the first half of the book, you uncover the gem of the second half and then you grow to love it even more. (Like... The game of thrones)

And also, let's not forget about the books that has a very pretty and pristine cover but has zero content inside... 

And then there are some books, like the one I saw at the museum yesterday at Amsterdam, it is called GrapeFruit by Yoko Ono, but I didn't get it. I wanted it but not bad enough. But today on the plane, I keep thinking about it and thinking about the possibilities and the joy of actually devouring the books contents and all the colors it will have. And I thought to myself: the next time I see it, I will definetely buy it. 

And then suddenly I realised, books are also the same as people.

AMSTERDAM <3

Amsterdammmm, how I love you so much. Yknow how certain cities/ countries you just have so much feels for a place, I have SO MUCH feels for Amsterdam. The country is beautiful, and so is the architecture. I stayed in an amazing house boat which is so extremely modern and serene, such a great place to unwind after a long day of walking and playing. 

Just look at how beautiful the city is. 

DESHOU~~???

And only in Amsterdam, you get to meet friends you haven't seen in years to catch up on JC antics and laugh over how stupid and silly we were. (See u back in SG matty~) 

I love Amsterdam, as much as I love stroopwafels. I take back history lessons on the holocaust, life lessons from

Anne frank, art inspiration from Marlene Dumas, I learnt so so so much. I need to come back here there's still so much more to be done. But for now... Back to Berlin. X