Thursday, November 27, 2014


OMG can I just say that I love Japan so so so much. The weather is perfect, people here are so kind and friendly ( AND GOOD LOOKING TOO) and the food is amazing. 

Anyway, the people at UNTITLED are so kind to pay for my trip over to Tokyo for this fashion media preview that highlighted my <sad girls club> series. I have met some seriously amazing people today and I am so so so blessed. I also learnt to throw out whatever bits and pieces of Japanese that I remember and even though slightly lost in translation, it's SUCH an amazing experience. I really can't even begin to describe it. But here are some photos: 

UNTITLED head office at Omotensando~ 

My little segment. 

(How crazy pretty are these flowers?!?!) 
Oh and this is the most amazing thing ever. CLOTHES, A LOT OF THEM, ALL FOR ME TO CHOOSE FROM. I get to be dressed in their brand. happy girl is happy. 

Shoes too omg. 
Mine mine mine. Thank you UNTITLED for dressing me~~~~~ arigatou~~~~~ 
Here's a behind the scenes of a meeting with the chief designer of UNTITLED. We are working on a very exciting collaboration to be sold in stores in Japan next year. ITS SO EXCITING FOR ME, because she'll ask me like "ok what fabric do you want for the top" and I'll be like "ok this one would be great" and then her assistant will take down notes and the top will be made as how I want it to be how exciting is that as a textile designer?!

Food station looks like a mini Marche, or a pop up cafe. Super yummy!!
kind person who kept bringing me food. Arigatou~~~ 
So here's to the wonderful collaboration with UNTITLED. What a great day. Even though I'm super tired. 疲れた!!! 
And I get to wake up to a view of Tokyo too. T_T ううれしいいいいい HAPPY~~~ 

Sunday, November 23, 2014


we need love, but all we want is danger & thrill.
so, you got me there.

#01 Ellie: Behind the scenes

Pet project with Lenne, my super talented photographer friend. Aiming to bring my Sad Girls Club embroidery series to live yay whoohoo. So happy with how the photos turned out, shall share them soon~~ but in the meanwhile, here are some behind the scene photos.

the end~ 

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

End Cycle.

Theres a power to sadness that is so addictive because it fuels a lot of thought and creativity. Sadness leads to inspiration and motivation. But what do you do when you're not sad? You create sadness. Thats why it is so powerful and addictive. Because its pure sadness. It is not from anyone, it is sadness created from Yourself. Imagine sadness so pure, intense & insane. Controlled sadness. Like a cigarette, so addictive, so productive but terrible in the long run.

Controlled sadness 
it gets work done.


Melancholy, be gone.
Just 3 words. 
Like the words 
That you said.
Good-bye, farewell.
Yes, go away.
You terrible liar,
and horrible cheat.
I'll miss you.
no no no
That's a lie. 
Just 3 words.
Find your courage.
Win me back.
Take me away.
Or let be. 
i am her.
stay don't go.
here with me.
It's 2 am.
Melancholy, be gone. 

now, please leave. 
or be mine.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Lunch at il lido

what's not to love. 

Great food with amazing colors and taste and an amazing view of Sentosa and people playing on the fake beaches lol, which led to a lot of life pondering questions which Aaron attempted to answer. 

Pardon me while I proceed to show you what I mean by food with amazing colors. 

Jumbo crab with tomato and basil essence. 
Ok so this is my favourite dish forever now. And yes if I could marry this dish, I TOTALLY WOULD. This, my friends, is butternut tortellini with truffle bagnacauda . 
Main dish: Seabass caccuico and cherry tomatoes. 

So nomz. :D 

Yknow with a lot of my friends getting married and engaged, they're fretting over rings and stuff but I'm like, why? If a guy proposes to me with butternut tortellini and a life supply of mashed potatoes with cheese, I would totally say yes. 


As stubborn as I am,  I've actually made it a point to be contented with whatever I have now.
In whatever situation I'm in, good or bad, I try to be contented. 
I don't know, just helps a lot. Sometimes its so easy to be consumed with your current state of emotions or situation, that you actually miss the whole learning point. You're done with the pain, anger, bitterness, sadness, guilt, whatever it're done with it. Stop and think: "How can I grow to be a better person tomorrow?" 

or in my case, a question to ponder before the shitty day ends...
"What nice food shall I eat tomorrow?

And all I think of is Hokkaido Crab Bisque from Soup Stock Tokyo. 
mmmmm~~ and see, the day isn't so shitty anymore. And why? Because you get to eat this tomorrow. 

Monday, November 17, 2014

Sun and Rain

And right at this very moment, 
My thoughts are with you. 
Long bus rides home at night 
musky scents, 
And your fingers finding your way intertwined with mine.  
And right at this very moment, 
In the cold whilst writing this,
I crave for the sun. And then I thought to myself, You are like the Sun. 

Just like the Sun, nice and warm from a distance... But any closer and I'd get burnt from your touch.

Sunday's Satisfaction

Hi hi. Its been such a busy weeeeeeek~~ I feel like I'm going through school submission exam period again. I've been sleeping for 3-5 hours everyday. *in pain face* But nonetheless, I'm really thankful and super inspired during this period. I think life as a creative should be like that, constantly working and thinking of new ideas and getting inspired by life and things around.  For me, once I have an idea, I become terribly obsessed about it. Its ALL I think about. Its quite unhealthy really because I wont stop until I actually execute it. 

So put two people like that together, and we get re-fuel-ed passion and energy. I LOVE being in this kinda situations, like positive/creative energy and ideas just keep bouncing back and forth. Its really amazing. 

So anyway, my super amazingly talented friend,  Lenne & I were having dinner one day and suddenly this idea blossomed. Like...why not bring my current embroidered Sad Girls Club series to life? Like, what the embroidered sad girl would look like in real life. And I was like.... omg thats so freakin cool, we need to do it!!! ( even though we had crazily packed schedules!! T_T) So we did! We managed to source and plan everything in about a week or two, which is SO crazy. But anyway, here are some BTS shots of the making of the props. 

and here ladies and gentlemen, you can see my tummy rolling out. hehehehe. 


Aaaaand after so many hours of Painting and Pasting and Planning (3Ps!!), its time for dinnerzz. 
My first time at Miam Miam, and I so freakin love this place! Everything is so nice~~ Its at Bugis junction btw. Take me here and I will love you forever~
Adin's Mac & Cheese / Tee's Cabonara. 
Lenne's Soufle rice thing.
This is super amazing, I have no idea how they made the egg rise like that. Its like, cookery magic to me.

Btw, does anyone watch Master Chef Junior? IT TOTALLY BLEW MY MIND AWAY!! I caught it on the tele the other day, and Im like "are you freakin shitting me?" This show is so freakin amazing and inspiring!! 10 year olds cooking seriously AMAZING dishes that will blow your mind away. This 10 year old girl made her own freakin taco sauce FROM SCRATCH. She also made her own taco FROM SCRATCH. Like WHAAAAAATTTTT. This other boy made his own pasta, from scratch. HOW!?

I can't even. Its so inspiring, makes me want to learn how to make sth else other than mashed potatoes. Random fact: My favourite food is anything potato. I love potatoes. Potato is my life.
I shall Potate forever.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

5 top thoughts

Thoughts today: 
1) time is precious, who and what you exchange it for is crucial. 
2) life is short, do whatever makes you happy. 
3) his ghost keeps finding me even at places he's never been before. 
4) postcards are beautiful.
5) mr okada, you're full of shit please get the fuck out of my life. 

Yes you. 

Monday, November 10, 2014

Your ghost

You can scrub off all your skin but not your marrow.
Some resonated hope till you whispered doubt into my bones.

So when I packed up all my things,
it never felt like I was leaving.
It just felt like falling to the ground while you kept running.

Sometimes I have this conversation with your picture. 
And I think he knows, because he smiles 
when I ask if he thinks we could be forgiven. 


What a gruelling night seriously.

If you were to ask me, whats one most painful and unbearable thing in my entire life...I would tell you that I hate vomiting and any stomach related pain. And  I would say that my pain tolerance is actually quite high, but one thing I cannot take, is vomiting.  Last night I had another episode of food poisoning, I spent the whole night (well almost all of it) in the toilet. But the thing about pain and unbearable situations, is that it makes you suddenly think about the relativity of life. Suddenly, your priorities are clear, suddenly you're all like "I wont do this again, I promise", suddenly you're helpless.

Who should I call? What should I do? I'm in so much pain even if I'm at  the hospital I have to wait for my turn. The pain was really unbearable, I can't imagine going through another hour of this. I called out to God out of desperation. SAVEEEEE MEEEEEE. I can't go through another episode. (I was literally in tears btw, because I hate and dread going through this so much) So imagine me, crying alone in the middle of the night feeling sick as hell, at that point of time I felt that the only person that could help me must be some higher being, God himself. I prayed a very simple prayer and depended fully on Him and trusted with all my heart that in His mercy and love that He will take away this pain.

And you know what, almost immediately after that I had this huge surge of nausea, like my stomach did a huge flip and I vomited out this huge chunk of everything...some thing like a purge. Everything came out and I just slumped down on the floor in exhaustion. I sat there for awhile, in case another wave comes, but that was it. The unbearable pain was gone, and nausea stopped.

I washed up and went to sleep at about 4am after everything, exhausted and weak. While I was lying on my bed, hands on my stomach, I was suddenly work doesn't matter to me, emails don't matter to me, certain issues with people don't matter to me anymore, material goods don't matter to me. Suddenly I could see things in clearer perspective. Less worldly.  In such pain and discomfort, you suddenly realise that nothing in this world matters anymore but your soul and spiritual life. This feels so surreal to me because I've had countless episodes of food poisoning and stomach issues, so I know the symptoms very well so I know that yesterday's episode and immediate healing was really a miracle. Yesterday night could have ended being hospitalised as usual, but I choose to believe that my God healed me because I believed without a doubt that He would.

and with this deep immense love covering me, I fell into deep sleep.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

once more.

I feel so refreshed today, so alive in God's word. Like a withered plant being watered. Haven't felt this carefree in a while. Life should be like this. Have been so busy these past few weeks my priorites have shifted, I let myself be bothered by things and people that don't matter, and I neglected the stuff that actually matters. oh silly me.

Whatever weakens your reasoning.
Whatever weakens your tenderness and conscience.
Whatever that takes away your spiritual appetite...
              That is sin

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Portraits night@MAAD and nails.

Now, if you're thinking: why is there a corn in the picture. The answer is: I was so fucking hungry I bought the first edible thing I saw.  Its $2 and its so freakin amazing. I love corns.
anyway.... so we decided to have supper. SHAO KAO MEAT MEAT MEAT supper at 12am!!! Thats what Mike said!!! Cant say no to shao kao~ And then this happened....
VEGETABLE GALORE. hen tong ku~~~ All the dishes that came were all green green green. Theres also bitter gourd. How does anyone eat that. I really don't understand.
meowzie~ with the arty farties. 
and here mikes like " come come, take a picture with the bitter gourd".
wheres my meat. :( :( :(

Gelish nails are seriously damn bad for you. In my whole entire life, I've only did gel-ish on my fingernails twice. The first time I did it was at Kiyone~ i really love that place btw. The second time I did gel nails was very recently like 4 weeks ago? Oh and if you want to know,  I did it at some random heartland mall place. I mean, I've read stories about how damaging gelish nails are but I never really thought much about it until today!? So what happened was that my nail tore away from my nail bed causing my whole left thumb to swell and bleed from under my nail. It is so so so painful. I have to keep clutching my thumb because it was so bad. :( My nails became so brittle and thin that it tore away from my nail bed!?!?! whut!?

It hurts so bad. I don't know if I can embroider for now :(
I have a really really exciting project coming up that I can't wait to share, BUT I NEED TO START EMBROIDERING NOW. How to do that if my thumb fucking hurts.

zhermo ban.