Sunday, February 1, 2015

Day 5

As you can see, I'm currently in the middle of a depression. I couldn't really tell you what set it off, but I think it stems from my cowardice, which confronts me at every turn. I have stayed home the entire day not exchanging a word with anyone. I have slept so much, I feel so sleepy all the time. I have not done anything at all. But somehow I don't really seem to care. I ate 7 bottles of Meiji Coconut flavoured yogurt. And I only listened to Rachmaninoff.

I wonder how long this blues will last. I should go out, feel the sun.

It took me so long to decide to get out of the house, but when I finally did, the sun was already gone. And the only reason why I decided to get out of the house was because I've ran out of Meji Yogurt. I needed to buy more. I brought Anne Frank along with me, I shall take some time to read over chai.

"hi kimberly, its already the second month of 2015, how time flies! how good to see you do so well your life."

I was overlooking someone type out an email.
Who is kimberly. Where is she that this email has to be sent.

My mother calls. Where am I? Does it matter? Should I go home? Truth be told, I am getting sick of the people around. Their energy, their noise, the baby crying...the chapter that I'm reading...even Anne Frank is annoyed. I decided to go home.

Now, I must add that I only walk home on two occasions. I only walk home when I'm 1) extremely happy or when I'm 2) extremely sad. When No.1 happens, I will take a stroll through the park the breathe in the fresh air and to look at people and they smile back at me and feel so absolutely wonderful that I'm alive. Occasionally, I also skip home. When No.2 happens, I drag my feet and each step home seems extremely heavy. I look at people and they either frown at me or give me weird looks. I hate everything. I sigh at every thing, I don't want to be here, neither do I want to go home. I'm stuck.  Well so tonight, I walked home and thought about everything.

I'm terribly sorry for my depressing thoughts.

I do hope to feel better tomorrow. If not, the day after tomorrow...or the day after...or the day after next.

sad tee.

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