Its been a week of ups and downs, I mean, there will always be ups and downs...but this week its more bumpy. However, I've resolved a lot of issues, so thats great...its not instantly solved but its still work in progress...life itself is a lot of work in progress isn't it.
And also I fell ill. But nothing I can't fight, just feeling extremely weak at the moment whilst typing this. My thoughts are also coming to me in random bits. I have so much to say, so maybe blogging after medication is not a very good idea haha.
I wish to write about my point of realisation today:
So I was in bed for the past 24 hours, drugged out and resting. This morning when I woke up, I had a sudden craving for Pancakes. Not any pancakes but the pancakes from macdonalds. I thought about the idea for a bit and contemplated whether I should get out of bed to get pancakes. I sat up and I felt dizzy, I tried to stand and I felt like fainting. Its like that for me every time I fall sick, I get extremely weak. But the vision of me eating pancakes was so overpowering! I just have to get pancakes!! There was no one at home so I decided that if I want pancakes, I needed to do something and not just sit around and wish for one.
So I really did! Omg I can't believe it. In my weak state, I put on a baseball cap to hide my bed hair and took a bus down to macdonalds in my pyjamas and my morning face. My legs felt like they were going to give way seriously, but I kept thinking about how glorious the pancakes would taste, and I kept going. It felt so crazy, my mom would be so angry if she found out. It was like a mission. I felt so determined. I chuckled at how funny this was if I were to die and it makes headlines "GIRL DIES ON BUS ON THE WAY TO GET PANCAKES"because, seriously I felt like I was going to die. Halfway on the bus my stomach started to hurt so bad and I was in so much pain. Have you felt that kind of intense pain that all you hear and feel is WHITE? (Pain is white btw) But NO, I REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE PAIN ...so then I journeyed on....to find my pancakes.
But to cut to the chase, I got my pancakes finally (I upsized it too hooray) and I made it home safely. I had a glorious breakfast of pancakes and sausage with salted butter and maple syrup while reading Shonagon whilst listening to Debussy. It was one of the most wonderful mornings EVER and whatever discomfort I went through was totally worth it. I realised its the same in life, if you want something, you go get it. As simple as that. Fix your eyes on the goal and get it.
Time to rest. The medication is finally kicking in. May you dream of pancakes tonight :) xx