x

"Stay with me"
and he said, "always"

Gifts

When I was about 10, I received a call from NKF (National Kidney Foundation) after a health check up in school. I was in the toilet when the call came through so I didn't actually talk to them, but my helper told me I had a call from NKF. And being paranoid me as usual, I spent the next few days in paranoia thinking that I had something wrong with my kidneys. I thought I had kidney failure or something bad from the health check up in school. I remember going to the windows and just looking out at the kids playing soccer in the field opposite my house and thinking "they're so lucky to be alive and well." I was so convinced that I was going to die hahahahhaa. 

But I thought about it during the week amidst all the chaos happening in the world, each day is really a Gift. After reading all these shared Facebook statuses about the Parisians who survived the attack, I realised that life is so precious and fragile...here today, gone tomorrow. Really puts things into perspective for me. One of them wrote something along the lines of when she thought she was going to die, there was no anger, no hatred, just whispering I love you to every of her loved ones in her head. She just wanted to let everyone close to her know that she loved them. 

I'm scared no doubt, that something like that might happen close to home. So i'm going to live like today's my last day. If I wake up tomorrow, I'll be super glad that I have another day with my loved ones and friends. I think that'll be an amazing way to live life, everything will be put into perspective and small petty things wont matter as much anymore. 

But if today's my last day, or if I'm going to live like that...it means that I have to eat chicken nuggets everyday too. Dilemma. 

Errands!!

A typical day of errand running would most likely consist of buying 80++ embroidery hoops and 100+ threads and other knick knacks like erasers because they keep disappearing, I found one under my pillow the other night. Im not kidding. I usually do work on my bed so sometimes whilst moving around the eraser might have slipped under my pillow. So I buy lots of erasers but it always seems to run out and they all disappear!

Maybe something like Toy Story, my room studio has a version Eraser Keshigomu Story, where all the erasers who were mistreated come together to plot revenge or to build an army so their strategy is to get all the erasers to go in hiding so that I will buy MORE erasers to feed their army. Holy shit, they're so smart!!! 

aNyWaY~

The kind people at Aide De Camp probably knows how much I need to carry on a day to day basis for work. I run workshops so sometimes I need to lug all my thread supplies + embroidery hoops + scissors AND erasers, I end up carrying more than 3 tote bags. They've very kindly gifted me with one of their Nadine bag to use. So the other day I came home to this: 

(image credit: adcbags.com) 

Would you look at how spacious this bag is!? Its actually meant for cameras hence the middle lens holder, but I've used it to separate my craft items when I carry them home. Worried about your water bottle spilling? NO PROBLEM with this bag. It really carries all. Theres even a padded section at the back to keep your laptop safe. Lots and lots of compartments, great for OCD NEAT people. \^_^/

This has been my everyday bag when I go for meetings or workshops since the day Aide De Camp sent me this gift. Check the rest of the collection here: http://www.adcbags.com/collections/nadine

Ciao!

Underground

I'm reading Murakami's book called Underground.

Its basically a collection of first person eyewitnesses and survivor's accounts of the Tokyo gas attack in 1995. I've never really thought much about it but its actually very scary because I take the train everyday. How these men carried out these attacks were so subtle and people didn't notice anything until it was too late. Like some of them would say everyone was just rushing to get to work, even when they noticed "strange liquid" on the floor, everyone just continued minding their own business, just thinking about getting to work on time and about the work that awaits them at the office. 

"When I was out infront of Kodemmacho station, certainly that one block was in an abnormal state, people were dropping onto the ground like flies, but all around us the world carried on the same as ever. Cars were going by. Thinking back over it now, it was eerie. The contrast was just so weird. But on television they only showed the abnormal part, very different from the actually impression. It just made me realize all the more how frightening television is." - Masanori Okuyama, survivor. 

Things I want to further study on: 

1) By Stander effect

2) Sarin 

3) Air flows in trains 

4) Cults

Aftermath

Yknow how some days everything just goes wrong. Anything and everything! I had such a day this week, believe me, the day ended in tears after some random man accidentally stepped on my foot and that was it, flood gates just opened after that. I was SO angry at everything and anything and then I realised maybe I'm the one causing the bad day. My thoughts were mostly negative and angry curses, it's no wonder that I'm only attracting all the bad things to me. I mean, seriously, no one has ever "scolded" me for not giving up my seat to an elderly, but on that bad day, I was scolded infront of everyone on the train because I didn't see the old lady stand infront of me. T_T 

Today actually started out as a not so good day, I over slept, I didn't get much work done, my threads ran out, missed my stop, lost my ATM bank card at the train station. It could have gone so much worse, but everytime something "bad" happened, I learnt to counter it by making it something good. 

The moment I overslept, I thought, ok great, at least I had a good rest. Thanks for the good rest! When I realised I ran out of threads, I thought, ok since I can't embroider now I'm going to spend some time reading. When I missed my stop, I took a walk and was thankful that I could enjoy a nice short walk. I practiced being positive for almost everything that when I realised I lost my ATM card, my first thought was "ok, this is a useful reminder to be more careful next time" before I proceeded to make arrangements for a replacement card. There was absolutely no panic or fluster. Also, nothing bad happened even though I lost it in the afternoon and only realised it at night.

And now at the end of the day on my bed, when I think back about the day (as I always do before I sleep)... It feels like such a great day, and I'm thankful for everything that happened. And my hope is that We will always see the good in everyday for as long as always. It makes life so much more....liveable and light.