Aftermath

Yknow how some days everything just goes wrong. Anything and everything! I had such a day this week, believe me, the day ended in tears after some random man accidentally stepped on my foot and that was it, flood gates just opened after that. I was SO angry at everything and anything and then I realised maybe I'm the one causing the bad day. My thoughts were mostly negative and angry curses, it's no wonder that I'm only attracting all the bad things to me. I mean, seriously, no one has ever "scolded" me for not giving up my seat to an elderly, but on that bad day, I was scolded infront of everyone on the train because I didn't see the old lady stand infront of me. T_T 

Today actually started out as a not so good day, I over slept, I didn't get much work done, my threads ran out, missed my stop, lost my ATM bank card at the train station. It could have gone so much worse, but everytime something "bad" happened, I learnt to counter it by making it something good. 

The moment I overslept, I thought, ok great, at least I had a good rest. Thanks for the good rest! When I realised I ran out of threads, I thought, ok since I can't embroider now I'm going to spend some time reading. When I missed my stop, I took a walk and was thankful that I could enjoy a nice short walk. I practiced being positive for almost everything that when I realised I lost my ATM card, my first thought was "ok, this is a useful reminder to be more careful next time" before I proceeded to make arrangements for a replacement card. There was absolutely no panic or fluster. Also, nothing bad happened even though I lost it in the afternoon and only realised it at night.

And now at the end of the day on my bed, when I think back about the day (as I always do before I sleep)... It feels like such a great day, and I'm thankful for everything that happened. And my hope is that We will always see the good in everyday for as long as always. It makes life so much more....liveable and light. 

mid week thoughts

I taught a class yesterday and it was such a pleasure to meet everyone. I am so deeply encouraged when I saw familiar faces re-attending the workshop...just to create something new again. And also for all the positive feedback, arghhh, you guys completely made my week.  \^_^/

Also, I'm in the midst of a stand still now, you know the feeling when you're just not sure what your goal is and suddenly everything just looks bleak and uninteresting? Even words don't come out the way I want them to. Its so easy to just slip away into being upset and depressed about being stuck, whiskey and coffee every morning, tears and gin every night...you know sometimes its very comfortable to be sad, theres a certain attraction to melancholy. And as a creative, sometimes Im drawn to that because it fuels me to create. Its sad to say but most of the time, I have the best ideas only when I'm down, nothing good ever comes out of me being happy. Does anyone else feel this way too? 

So is there only one way for artists/creatives to go, and thats down and up and down and up... like a menstrual cycle that one expects to come once in a while. Is this normal or am I just getting too used to being down. 

Frequencies

Have you ever watched this movie called Frequencies? If not, please go check it out. To very briefly sum it up: its about how everything needs to have the right frequency, even with people relations. Some people might emit very high frequencies and some very low, which is why they'd feel uncomfortable because the frequencies don't match up. (Btw, whatever I'm describing here is purely fiction.) So, in order to "balance" out the frequencies, someone must say a certain word and whatever anxiety or unhappiness or anger will go away. 

I watched this movie months ago, I really loved it because of its original concept even though its a low budget production and some parts were quite cringe worthy. But but but but but,  a certain train of thought just came to me during the week, what if...just what if, certain words really have certain frequencies that will alter the tension or balance out whatever unequal level of frequency amongst a group of people, or with your partner for that matter? Or even! Certain words that just elevate and make people feel a whole lot better. Words like "Thank You" or "I'm sorry" or "I love you". And of course at the other end of the spectrum there are also words that can bring people down. 

And also, there is a completely different spectrum for people like me, i mean, have you EVER had this urge to just say a certain word out, just completely randomly. Like you're walking on the street and then you just feel like saying the words "cupcake" or "toenail" out loud even if you're alone?! This didn't make sense to me until I remembered the movie Frequencies. So like....

*walking along Orchard Road with le boyfriend when suddenly...*

Tee: SHINKANSEN!! (train in japanese) 

Le Boyf: ???????

I don't even speak japanese, I just have urges to say random words out loud with much enthusiasm. Or like during dinner with le friends when suddenly....

Tee: FRAGOLLA!! (strawberry in italian) 

Le friends: ?????????

and I don't even speak Italian. Speaking of which, I once had this dream completely in Italian. The only words exchanged in the dream were Fragola, Ciotolla, and bottiglia, I don't even know whether I got the spelling right but they mean Strawberry, Bowl and Bottle. But anyway, coming back to the point about frequencies, what if saying these words actually served a purpose to balance out some unbalanced frequencies around me so that things can go smoothly and well? ok, so at this point you're probably thinking that Im absolutely crazy, but please go watch the movie anyway. 

Also, I went shopping at Ikea this weekend and bought house things. House things!!!! ooOooOooHHHhhh, felt like a grown up, but didn't like the feeling of responsibilities that came with it and just being adultish didn't seem like much fun, so proceeded to buy a carrot and broccoli plushie because vegetables are cute, don't eat them. 

xx 

Weekend happiness.

Favourite moments this weekend : 

Saturday: Stepping out of my house to this sight of my neighbour's kids playing out in the corridor. They were so excited playing with the bubble blower thingy. I had to join them, we played with bubbles for awhile, their positive and cheerful energy is so contagious, it completely made my day. :) 

"Can I take a picture of the bubbles? They're so pretty!"

"Yes ok!! let me make more bubbles, ok now take a photo!!"

and his brother joined in...

"Take a photo of my scooter too!!" 

Sunday: Looking at my boyfriend's happy face whilst inhaling the glorious smell of all the cheese. He's like a kid in a candy store because of the wide selection of cheese. Its his favourite place now because the smell of cheese reminds him of home hahahah. I couldnt go in, the smell was too strong for me. I went in with him once, and all I can say is... wow. no. When I see him smile like this, it makes me so happy :) 

Last week I tried this self activity thing, to smile at 10 random people that you meet in your day. It completely changed my day, it was so positive and happy, esp when they smile back. Its the most amazing feeling ever. Like for an example, before getting off the bus... I recently made it a point to say 'thank you' with a big smile to the bus driver. Its a really good feeling spreading happiness and positivity. So this week, I'm quite excited to carry on my week doing exactly this. 

Try it too! :D 

xx 

Feelings

Don't worry, this is not going to be a super cheesy long post about my love life. Actually in all honesty, I wanted it to because theres SO much to say but I will make everyone cringe upon reading so all I shall say is, truly, I've never been happier. :) 

Japanese craft inspiration

so the other day I had coffee with my parents at Hoshino and they had an array of japanese magazines for browsing. And I came across this section and it literally lit up my entire freakin week. Look at these!!! Theres like crochet meat, sausages, chicken, sushi, eggs, holy shit. I'm completely sold by brooch in the last image. So many ideas!! 

Im currently thinking about a food embroidery series, since I'm always eating so much.