Cancer.

For my soul to reach you, 

Must I always leave?

For my heart to feel you, 

Must it always be? 

- 

Life would be as such. 

Shs would be the green and the pastels in your life. Your dull dull life. She would grow and wrap around your sharp edges. Your viciously sharp edges. She would soften you, bring beauty and color back into your life, fill up your cracks and gaps. She would do all that. Nothing contrasts beauty more than you do. She would be your gemini butterfly, your flower child, your ice queen all in one. 

"Take me now" you say, 

But nope, those are not the right words.  

She'll let you in on color and fantasy, and then destroy it all together. And all you will have left is desolation and despair... longing for that same exact shade of color and vibrance to enter your life again. 

Have you met anyone like her? She brings so much joy and tears, love and pain. Anger, hope and lust. No, but I am crazily in love. That's what love is isn't it. She taught me this. She looks at me and say: hold yourself out, and let me destroy you. let me aggressively love you. 

And then I will smile. 

"Sweetheart, destroy me with your passion" 

You've got the words right, so, come in. Let me spend the night in your heart and show you how Cancer spreads. 

Momento Mori

I love dried flowers. 

They remind me that even an ugly process like death and decay, can result in something so beautiful. However, there is a right way to dry it though. You have to tilt them upside down so that it dries from bottom up. The flowers then retain some of their colour, faded away in a very majestic hue. 

Perhaps its the same for life for us I guess...our soul and identity being like water to the plant. And lets just say, the drying process is equivalent to ageing...once you give away too much of yourself and your identity slips away like water flowing out from the stem, you will wither away. Theres no colour. Just pure decay. When you look back to collect the fallen and wrinkled petals, you might not even recognise that piece of yourself. 

         You've lost it. 

                 Its no longer you. 

                              You've fallen            a  p      a            r         t. 

Influences.

Wearing: Top to toe Zara.

- 

Today's thoughts: 

When I hear people say "You're such a good influence..." I just think like, theres is no such thing as a good influence. What is an influence? Like...people look up to you and they want to be you be it in a good/ bad way? I feel that all influences are unethical. There should be no such thing. Don't say such things. Because to influence is to have a hold on someone. It is to give someone a part of your soul. She doesn't think her natural thoughts or let her own passions burn. Her moral decisions and goals are not real to her as compared to you. Her sins (if there are such things as sins) are borrowed from you, not her own. She becomes a rendition of someone else's music, an actress of a role that plays a part not meant for her. Heck, that part wasn't even written yet. 

The aim of life is self development. 

Question is: Can we say the same for inspiration though. 

Love and Loss

Dear Stranger,

whats your story. 

You've been on the phone,

with your face reading fury. 

Did you have a bad day,

or perhaps she called it off?

Did you lie or cheat,

or you found out that it was more than a cough?

Sorry, is all I can say,

though you're so far.

I hardly know you,

but I've probably been where you are. 

Agitated arms.

Frail body.

So much pale.

"fuck" you say, and stomped off in an outrage.

There there, I say.

From 20 metres away.

Dear Stranger, 

My thoughts are with you Tonight.

But remember in all things,

never give up without a fight. 

x

Sad Girls Club

*DRUMROLL*

preeeesenting to you, SAD GIRLS CLUB in TOKYO. 

My second exhibition overseas. I'm so excited can you feel my excitement. 

Here are some photos from behind the scenes during the set up at 3am in the morning. 

If you are within the vicinity, you can catch this at Daikanyama T-site 

I personally feel like they're all my friends or children. So this is like a graduation/ class photo you know, which is a very gratifying feeling for me. All of them were inspired by moments in my life or a sad person I met or a friend I know. So its like, I want to capture their/my sadness forever on fabric, stitch by stitch every inch of sadness and melancholy is trapped and embedded onto fabric. When I look at a piece, I remember all the negativity, its overwhelming but the colours and flowers usually juxtapose and masks it. Just like all of us, just like me.

And the most exciting thing about Sad Girls Club, is that it will keep growing. Heres my artist statement:

At this moment, I want to say a huge thank you to my Japanese agents and partners who stayed up all night to work on the layout of the exhibition. Thank you for having faith and representing my works. These photos were taken at like 3am ish okay. But I'm seriously thankful. This is so much.