Past.

Cleaned my room today and found some very strange photos. Also I found a poem that I wrote in 2008 titled: Hate M 

"It left me wondering 

Why you were doing all these. 

After all, you barely know me. 

You barely know me at all. 

As I was mending my broken heart; the one before you, 

You came by and swept me away. 

Before I knew it, I was okay. 

Now time is running, things are changing. 

What do you want from me? 

I am turning negative from hate. 

So many negative ideas in my head.

But alas! No! This has to stop.

It's driving me insane. 

You're causing me too much pain. 

With a swift thumb, I deleted all of you. 

Although now I keep longing... 

I know, this shall pass too" 

Wah siao. 

18 years old and emo as hell. 

Flowers

"Now patience in Death. 

Then I could hear

Der springt noch auf,

above, and very near.

Blood mixed with mud drying on my ear."

-Szentkiralyszabadja, 31 Oct 1944

2am

Melancholy, be gone.

Just 3 words. 

Like the words 

That you said.

Good-bye, farewell.

Yes, go away.

You terrible liar,

and horrible cheat.

I'll miss you.

no no no

That's a lie. 

Just 3 words.

Find your courage.

Win me back.

Take me away.

Or let be. 

i am her.

stay don't go.

here with me.

It's 2 am.

Melancholy, be gone. 

now, please leave. 

or be mine.

Parasite

Things She would have told me: 

"Its okay", she said.

"Look at the plants, see how they grow? Some have the company of others but do not grow as tall as the ones who grow alone." 

"Which one are you?", she asked.

"The second. I feel alone sometimes. I feel alone today." I answered. 

"and thats okay...you know that right?" she said before turning to walk away, leaving me completely abandoned and alone. 

Lady in the White Night Gown

Lady in the white night gown,

With ribbons as dark as squids ink.

With hair as pure as snow.

Why have you come and 

What do you want.

With eyes so hollow, 

can you see through my soul.

Can you see the bitterness,

the sadness and the fear? 

Is that what it is,

is that what drew you here.

Take it then, take it all from me.

Take the darkness and then leave me be.

Take the days with heart wrenching pain.

Take those, for I have nothing to gain.

Don't forget the ones with Them too.

Those are the one that give me the blues.

Cleanse me and make me pure.

Make me forget Them all. 

Eat away the darkness, isn't that why you're here.

Don't leave anything behind that would make me tear. 

Feast, Feast until Their faces become nothing but a blur, 

keep going, keep going...its working, I'm sure.

Now, do you laugh when I am free.

Where were you when I searched the sea.

Lady in the white night gown,

you mouth my name but I don't hear a sound.

Leave now but come back soon.

Don't disappear for a thousand years

while you go around wiping other tears.

I have now made my peace,

Thank you, for the pain has ceased. 

Look at me with your dark hollow eyes,

and say good-bye because soon the sun will rise. 

-

Souls.

life/ death

-

Come, take my hand. 

Don't just stand behind me. Watching as the hands go tick tick tock.

Remind me, who you are now.

And have you travelled far? 

Stay, don't go.

Heres your side of the bed.

Come, hold me to sleep.